July marks National Family Reunion Month – a perfect occasion to rekindle ties with relatives near and distant, update each other on life’s progress, and relish in the cherished memories you collectively hold. If you’re gathering with your family this month, it serves as an ideal moment to engage your loved ones in conversations around mutual objectives, familial assets, and the heritage you aspire to pass onto the next generation.

While it may seem that estate planning is too grave a subject for a joyful family reunion, it can actually serve as a platform to fortify your bond with your loved ones. By giving everyone an opportunity to express their visions for the family, it fosters unity and encourages collective efforts for the family’s future prosperity.

Worried about broaching estate planning in a manner that instills confidence in your family, rather than causing unease? Continue reading for guidance on how to steer this conversation without dampening the festive spirit!

Invite Your Family Members to Participate in the Discussion Ahead of Time

Nobody wants to be the attendee who overshadows a fun gathering with relentless discussions of sad news story or personal issues. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s crucial to share both our joys and sorrows with our loved ones, but forcing a gloomy topic at a cheerful event can certainly cast a shadow and steer away the festive vibe.

Rather than forcing the topic amidst the reunion, take the initiative to contact your relatives beforehand. Inform them that you wish to dedicate some time during the reunion to converse about the family’s legacy and the ways you can collaborate to ensure each other’s wellbeing in the future.

It’s a universal truth that everyone likes to feel cared for and that their contribution in family matters is desired and respected. Any ongoing issues in your family, like the declining memory of an elderly relative or your impending knee surgery, can serve as ideal triggers to introduce the subject in a way that feels organic.

If anyone seems apprehensive about the idea of discussing estate planning, refrain from pressuring them. Instead, maintain a compassionate and patient demeanor, leaving the invitation to the discussion open for them to reconsider at their comfort.

Show Your Vulnerability and Share Why Estate Planning Holds Significance for You

Reassure everyone that the primary objective of this conversation is to guarantee the family’s future security and wellness, regardless of what the future holds. This isn’t about probing into anyone’s financial status, health conditions, or personal relationships. Rather, it’s about making sure everyone’s wishes are thoroughly understood and honored, and it’s definitely not about discovering who’s going to inherit what.

Make it clear to your family that addressing these matters now is an effective way to prevent future disputes and unnecessary costs. Misunderstandings about one another’s planning choices can lead to conflict, bitterness, and even expensive legal issues down the line.

Instead, express to your loved ones that you wish to initiate the estate planning discussion sooner rather than later, and maintain it as an ongoing dialogue involving the entire family for years to come. Framing the conversation as one about planning for the family’s future well-being, rather than dividing assets after someone’s passing, will help your relatives feel more comfortable. Some may even show enthusiasm to participate in the conversation.

If you haven’t yet addressed your own planning, this would be an excellent opportunity to start. By doing so, you can engage in the discussion with your family, sharing your personal journey. Explain how managing your own estate planning has prompted you to reflect more deeply on your values, how you envision living out your remaining years, and how you’d love to share this experience with your entire family.

Establish a Date and Location for the Discussion

Instead of searching for the perfect moment to introduce the subject, arrange a specific time and place with your family prior to the gathering. It’s crucial to set a definite time, but there’s no need for the invitation to sound overly serious or daunting. Suggesting a meet-up around the fire pit at 6:00 pm or a coffee gathering at your place at 9:00 am is just right.

I also endorse setting a conclusion time for the conversation. By doing this, your loved ones will have clarity on what to anticipate and won’t fret about the discussion consuming too much of their leisure time.

Establishing parameters for the discussion will also encourage family members to participate and stay focused.

To streamline the process, bring along a list of key points you wish to discuss and inspire your family members to do the same. However, ensure your list remains brief to avoid exceeding the designated time for the conversation.

If the agenda seems too extensive to cover within the allocated time, that’s perfectly fine. Discuss the most critical topics and collectively agree to reconvene, be it in person, over the phone, or through video chat, on a specific date to resume the conversation and delve into any details that were set aside for later.

Concentrate on Your Family’s Legacy

As you engage your loved ones in a discussion about estate planning, make it about your family’s vibrant legacy. This isn’t merely a dry, legal conversation but an opportunity to discuss how best to pass on the rich narrative of your shared experiences, values, and insights to the next generation and beyond. Consider it like stitching together the colorful quilt of your family’s story!

Your family reunion is a great stage, and estate planning is your script for safeguarding your family’s real treasures – your shared human journey. Highlight that estate planning isn’t just a “death plan”, it’s more like a life plan! It’s all about being able to live life to its fullest, knowing your loved ones and the things you adore are taken care of, come rain or shine.

For my clients, I offer a special opportunity called the Family Wealth Legacy Interview. It’s a remarkable way to preserve your family’s dearest memories and stories. During this interview, I assist my clients in documenting the invaluable treasures they wish to pass on to future generations. These treasures hold far greater value than mere money.

Imagine the priceless joy of sharing and watching this recording of our loved ones at future family reunions, cherished by generations to come. It’s a gift that transcends time and connects us deeply to our roots.

If you’re seeking further guidance on discussing estate planning with your family or if you’re ready to embark on your own estate planning journey to secure your family’s well-being and share your personal planning experience, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. It’s my passion to support you through every step of planning your life and legacy. When an entire family joins forces to pursue their estate planning goals, it’s a beautiful opportunity for love and happiness to flourish.



This material was created for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as ERISA, tax, legal, or investment advice. If you are seeking legal advice specific to your needs, such advice services must be obtained on your own separate from this educational material.